So many nights I go to sleep feeling like I have failed. I am tired. Treading water with my head barely breaking the surface.
The sink is full of dirty dishes.
I don't remember the last time I put on real clothes.
Shower...ha!
The laundry is clean but unfolded, piled on a chair. The hampers are full again.
The bathrooms are a little scary.
Dog fur tumbleweeds blow around my house as I wander from room to room wondering where to start.
There is never not something that needs to be done.
Today I spent all morning getting frustrated and yelling at my two year old.
Watch out!
Sit down!
You almost hit the baby!
Stop shouting!
Hold your bowl straight so you don't spill!
You have to use the potty so you don't wet your pants!
You need a nap, you are exhausted!! (That one applies to me too)
But there is no time for naps. I have work to do on the computer so I can continue to be home with my two (soon to be three) munchkins.
The dishes need to be washed because we are out of spoons.
Lunch
Snack
Dinner
He has finally settled down and is down for his nap.
Parenting can be ugly business. Every once in a while I feel like I have it all together (not lately). It is a humbling experience; exhausting.
Every day my kids make me smile
Every day they make me laugh
They are an unending source of love
There is nothing better than the feel of little arms around my neck and wet kisses on my cheek
Big smiles from the baby make my heart so full of love it hurts.
"I love you buddy" "I love you too Mommy" the unprompted response from my little man that always chokes me up a little bit.
I'm not perfect but every day I try.
The number one spot on my "to-do" list today:
Hug my little man when he wakes up and tell him I am sorry I lost my patience.
Tell him that I love him.
What seems like the blessing is really the curse. It's not always going to be like this. They will grow up and one day, they won't "need" me anymore. They will have their own lived to live and at that moment I will look back on these days and give anything for little tiny arms around my neck and a tiny voice in the dark saying "I love you too Mommy".
